My dick is so big.

My dick is so big, they're exploring the mysteries of the universe by crashing shit into it. Maybe you've heard of the Large Hadron Collider? Yeah, they spelled it wrong and it's my dick.

My dick is so big, the Dow jumped 300 points last time I ejaculated.

My dick is so big, its full name is The People’s Democratic Republic of My Dick.

My dick is so big, it undergoes redshift when becoming erect, due to the Doppler effect.

My dick is so big, jacking off requires the assistance of Jack Bauer and squad of marines.

My dick is so big, Osama bin Laden wanted to blow it up but couldn't wrangle up enough airliners.

The concept of dark matter has come about because the universe appears to have a lot more mass than we can actually detect, and so we invented dark matter to make up for the mass discrepancy. That extra mass that scientists can't find? That's not dark matter, that's my dick.

My dick is so big, 7-11 has new drink sizes: Big Gulp, Double Gulp, and My Dick.